I suppose this is what I get for going a few days without writing. A veritable soup of thoughts…
This morning, I heard about a family in Maryland that had to go to the emergency room for carbon monoxide poisoning because they were using a gas grill inside. Now, I can only wonder if they were actually trying to cook, or if they were trying to keep from freezing. After all, there is a blizzard taking place there at the moment. They were hit once and were/are supposed to be hit hard again.
Now, this is something that came to my mind last night… I know that there is quite a large homeless population in the Baltimore area especially. DC too, I’m sure. And I can only wonder how they are contending with this blizzard? How many of them are going to die due to exposure? While many, including those that may sneer at the family who nearly died, sit in their nice warm houses, watching the snow come down and complain when they have to go out into the elements to shovel the drive.
Recently, I spoke with someone about how there were many that said “hell will freeze over, if the Saints win the Super Bowl”. They did, and I find it most ironic that Washington DC has been shut down by snow.
I lived in Maryland there for four years. As an empath, I could FEEL the energy that surrounds that area; the energy that likely spreads to all of the states surrounding it. Often, I looked forward to getting OUT of Maryland, just so that I could get a bit of reprieve from the cloud of negativity that seemingly looms over it.
So, it truly comes as no shock to me that the area has had snow dumped upon it. Snow, while frozen, still possesses the cleansing properties that rain does. Nor, does it come as any shock that I am not there to endure it. The universe knows that snow and I are not the best of friends, and it is for that reason I was urged to move, despite the fact that I moved to a spot that is supposed to get more snow on average than Maryland usually does.
My next thought is one that has been milling about my mind for a few days now, actually…
The other day, I took a personality test. The Jungian one, I believe. Now, the version that I took had me as an ISFP. A more detailed one that I took at another time had me as an INFP, as does the one that I did today…
What I’m focusing on at the moment, though, is the definition that I received for ISFP… It mentioned something about one needing one’s freedom, otherwise, it starts to eat away at one’s inside to where they almost feel dead. I’ve contemplated on this… Indeed, it is when I begin to feel “trapped”/locked in to something that I don’t feel I can get myself out of, that I feel almost dead inside. As long as I can convince myself that it is my decision to remain in the situation, I feel fine with it. The moment that I begin to feel as though I can’t get out of it; as though I have to remain in it for some reason, that’s when things begin to take a trip downhill.
I believe that is why I’m feeling so… uninspired in life at the moment. Where we live and how long we live there is dictated by another. There is another place that draws us, but it is somewhere that we really can’t go for another few years.
It’s all about staying in the moment, I suppose. In the here and now. It’s simply that some days are more difficult than others…
Too, I suppose it’s a matter of convincing myself that this is where I want to be, what I want to be doing. It is my choice to remain here. I am not locked into it. I could leave, if I so chose to, but it is here that those who I love most are, and it is here that I shall remain until we are all able to move on together.
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